When she wants you to kill a spider, but then gives it a backstory

Why men are bad at gossip

When she sees your wearing Velcro sneakers

When you find out she's a... "professional"

When you're venting and he's giving you solutions

How do you fit this much stuff in your purse?

Did you fix the leak?

is this the best place to hide?

The first night she sleeps over

Are you saving for retirement?

When she thinks you cheated

Showing someone your favorite movie

When she can't decide what to eat

Guys who say their ex girlfriend was "crazy"

We gotta discuss your spending..

I kinda like making pipes... burst

The Swifties bugged our apartment

That's why we are NO LONGER recycling

Would you help me bury a body?

When someone texts "call me"

When you get the DNA results

When you want credit for doing a chore

Die Hard is NOT a Christmas movie

hooking up with a magician

The job is yours.. once you pass a drug test

When the waitress reads the specials

planning a gender reveal party

Wait, do my green texts turn you off?

Are you impressed?

What tattoo should I get?