Dallin Seely from YouTube channel @TheDashleys grew up as a multigenerational Mormon. His father's early passing from stomach cancer when Dallin is only seven leads Dallin to experience intense scrupulosity growing up over the fear he will never be "worthy" to see his father again in heaven.

After serving a mission, he falls in love with Ashley. The couple deals with the church’s inherent sexism, including in the temple and the teaching of “the patriarchal order” in the Mormon church. Continuous marriage struggles lead them to seek therapy amidst running their channel @TheDashleys This leads to the healthiest time in their marriage, as they were able to have emotional intimacy and talk about their feelings, including Ashley's feelings about sexism in the Church. Dallin and Ashley tell how they learned to embrace their true selves and how they are raising their children in a way that eliminates guilt and fear. 

00:00:00 Intro
00:01:30 Dallin’s YouTube channel, day to day family lifestyle
00:04:35 Intentions
00:06:11 Multigenerational mormon
00:10:22 Early death of his father due to stomach cancer on Dallin’s birthday.
00:15:30 Father’s funeral and his baptism were on the same day
00:21:40 Dallin’s wards helped the family a lot
00:25:45 Dallin feels much of the harm of Mormonism happens in the mind in quiet times. Living lives of quiet desperation.
00:26:45 Bishop Roulette and masturbation guilt
00:38:55 Dallin realizes his worthiness has just been up to people’s opinions
00:40:18 Mission prep & getting endowed at 18 before HS graduation
00:45:40 Mission experiences, “death by a thousand cuts”
01:07:30 Elder Bednar visits his mission, causing Dallin to question eternal families
01:24:44 Coming home from his mission, urged to marry
01:31:40 Institute classes introduce more unanswered questions.
01:35:50 Dallin meets Ashley at EFY, follows his heart and marries her despite thinking God wanted him to marry someone else
01:45:09 Ashley troubled by Temple sexism
01:49:00 Mormon patriarchy & sexism
01:57:55 First child born, Ashley is struggling and Dallin confused why ideal Mormon Marriage isn’t working out
02:06:40 Starting their youtube channel in 2015
02:19:15 The Dashleys’ marriage starts to improve with marital counseling
02:31:00 Dallin reads the CES Letter. Ashley gives him space to talk about his feelings and she shares hers too. Dallin finally sees the sexism Ashley has been experiencing in the Church
02:37:30 They don’t want their daughter to experience the same sexism. They want her to be treated as an equal.
02:50:37 Dallin has a lot of work to do to figure out who he is. Guilt & fear start to subside.
03:07:56 Learning more on how the brain works
03:11:20 Navigating faith crisis on social media.
03:13:00 “Literally it’s only been good” since they left the Church
03:14:50 Unabashedly Dallin

ABOUT US:
Mormon Stories Podcast is the longest-running and most successful podcast in Mormonism - hosted by Dr. John Dehlin. At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We also occasionally interview scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1) Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology, 2) Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis, and 3) Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions.

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