On September 11, 2001, Robert Hogue looked out of the blast-proof window in his office. Flight 11 had just hit the north tower in New York City and Hogue wondered why the Pentagon, in the direct flight path of Washington National Airport, was not being evacuated. Moments later, Hogue woke up on his office floor, trapped in his office with three other people. A 757 jumbo jet had exploded beneath their office. Somehow, they survived.

Leading up to the attack on the Pentagon, Hogue never imagined he would spend his entire professional career as a civil servant in the defense department. He had worked on top-secret weapons programs, litigated military civil rights cases, and seen American conflicts around the world, but never envisioned that he would be hand-selected to serve alongside six Marine commandants, the most senior officers in the Corps.

Two decades ago, Hogue couldn't know how his career choice would affect his life, that even as volunteers pulled bodies — and an important flag — from the wreckage, he would help plan the longest war in U.S. history, that he would guide the Corps through its most radical changes since its founding, and that he would learn the ethos of the Marine Corps.

For the 20th anniversary of the attacks, Hogue will look out his office window one last time before he walks through the doorway that once separated life from death. In that office, Hogue has reflected on the beginning and end of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the complexities of the world and the future needs of the Corps. And as troops withdraw from Afghanistan, the memories of service and sacrifice remain vivid, unlike the helicopter pad, battered and faded by decades of weather and sunlight, that rests feet below Hogue’s window. A physical snapshot in time. A constant reminder of how an explosion changed it all. Of a time before the Forever Wars. Before America launched another endeavor that would bury thousands of America’s sons and daughters. The men and women he grew to love.

But unlike his escape decades ago, Hogue will leave his office — and the Marine Corps — with clarity and as an honorary Marine. And while he says he may never truly be at peace with the events of September 11, the sacrifice and trauma has led to a rewarding life of service.

This is his story.