Join me on a rim-to-rim hike at Grand Canyon, from South Rim to North Rim on Bright Angel and North Kaibab Trails. At a distance of 23 map miles with a descent and climb of one mile, such a hike taxes my abilities, but is also a rewarding accomplishment when completed. This hike is complicated by back problems leading to doubt that I can finish it.

It’s 11:20 pm and I am getting up to attempt a rim-to-rim hike.

As a man, I have been trained to project confidence and competence, but I must admit this morning that I am full of self-doubt.

Any realist of my age acknowledges a degree of frailty. I have watched 20-year-olds on the trail tumble for thirty feet, then get up, laugh and move on. For me, a fall could mean the end of the hike or send me to the hospital. For years I have been acknowledging that I am not as young as I used to be, but this is the first year I acknowledge being old. I have to be slower and more careful now, and to some degree that erodes my masculine self-image. Doing the rim to rim forces me to confront this.

So why do I do the hike? I do it because I am going to die. Maybe I harp on mortality too much, but I think I do because so many people deny it. I want to be clear, I love my life, I do not want to leave it, but I am a realist and facing that my days are numbered makes those days all the more sweet. The other side of the coin to acknowledging mortality is celebrating being alive now. I am still alive, and I plan to hike as often as I can for as long as I can, as health, weather and finances allow.

Hiking rim to rim taxes me to my physical maximum. I have a list of diagnoses that read like a career criminal’s rap sheet. At one point in cancer treatment, I got a handicap parking placard. I don’t use it, but I think of it as my blue badge of courage, recognition for all I have been through.

I have always had a bad back, or at least that’s what I called it, but on one of my cancer CT scans, they gave it a more serious name, degenerative disease of the spine. And that is what concerns me today. My back is troubling me and I am not sure I will be able to complete the hike. Late hours and self-doubt. That sounds like a good title for a book or record album.

This hike is 23 map miles, about 30 miles on a fitness tracker, and if I make it, I would like to do it in 13 hours. There’s almost a mile of descent to the river and a mile climb to the North Rim. Then, if it goes well, I get to do it again on the return trip. If I make it, I will post this video. If I do not, the failure will go unrecorded.

This video, hopefully, will be a hybrid of tips, travelog, and maybe a bit of adventure. I like watching other people’s R3 videos, and usually they focus on themselves, failing to mention things that might help other hikers like times, water availability and trail conditions. I will try to include some of that information. But my top priority is the hike. This is the tail that wags my dog. Videos are time consuming and will take a back seat to completing the hike.

And, before I hit the trail, my first two tips. First, water availability has been unpredictable this year. Two weeks ago, I did a training hike and when I went through Phantom where they had posted unannounced that the water was off from Phantom to the North Kaibab Trail head. That is about 14 miles without a treated water source. It is important to have the ability to both filter and chemically treat water as livestock frequent these trails. I have not yet had to use these, but they are essential to have available.

Second, have fixed in your mind your turn-around decision points. One time I hiked to the River, before the sun was up it was 86 degrees, and I decided I could do the R3, but it just would not be any fun. I went back to the rim and drove in an air-conditioned car to North Rim instead.

The halfway point on the hike, for me at least, is at the end of the box, a few miles North of Phantom Ranch. At this point, it is actually more efficient to walk to the North Rim, rather than walk back. Especially if you would still need to drive the extra 4 hours to get to your non-refundable hotel room on the other rim.

So, with those first two tips covered, times a wasting and it time for me to hit the trail. Wish me luck (and good health)!