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It might not be clear why I feel weird about this video because I'm of course really inside my head about all of this, but I want to be a person who gets excited just about making life better for staff and customers and clients and that's just always enough for me.

Sometimes it is, for sure! And I don't want people to think I've been miserable doing this work. But I have found that I am, to some extent, who I am. There are things I can do and of course I am extremely grateful to have the opportunities I have. But when I definitely had enough and was still working really hard and feeling very stressed, I could tell that I needed new motivations.

One motivation is wanting to do things that are very interesting and special for this community, which is why John suggesting we work with Partners in Health in a big and long-term way was so exciting (honestly, in part because it felt quite risky!)

The thing I wish was different about me is that I wish having or not having money did not affect my motivation as much as it did. I thought it wouldn't, but I was wrong. I was much more motivated by making money up to a certain point than I thought I was, and when that motivation went away, I was upset that I had such a need to find new ways to motivate myself to do hard things.

I don't think I said it enough in this video, but I feel (aside from some frankly unnecessary challenges with my body) pretty certain that I am one of the luckiest people on the whole earth, and that's not hyperbole, I think it's simply true.

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John's twitter -   / johngreen  
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