A needlessly thorough roast of Dear Evan Hansen (2021)
Jenny Nicholson Jenny Nicholson
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 Published On Oct 12, 2021

I don’t just roast I incinerate.

Click the title under which you posted Evan Hansen’s speech to the internet:

Doctors hate him! High school boy looks 45   / jennyenicholson  
POV the lead singer of the memorial didn’t show so the drummer has to sing instead and his voice is incredible   / jennyusername  
Stupid Orchard Kickstarter   / jennynicholson  
Top 10 memorial speech FAILS compilation   / spider_jewel  
Weeping falsetto ASMR   / progamerjenny  

Parts 2, 8, and 10 do not contain triggering content but might be confusing out of context. Except Part 2 that one stands on its own legs.

Chapters:
00:00:00 Intro
00:00:38 Part 1: The Story
00:02:46 Part 2: Ben Platt wants an oscar but he is 45 years old
00:11:44 Part 3: Mommy why is the scary man singing
00:19:49 Part 4: Sincerely, Me
00:24:25 Part 5: The romance with the sister
00:28:34 Part 6: His best friend d*ed… you won’t believe what he did next!
00:32:01 Part 7: The stupid Kickstarter
00:36:33 Part 8: The Jared character has no point and makes no sense
00:39:51 Part 9: The stuff I liked
00:41:57 Part 10: The editing
00:44:48 Part 11: The lie
00:52:18 Part 12: Is Evan the bad guy
01:01:16 Part 13: Nothing happens
01:08:28 Part 14: Trees

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