A YouTuber named ​⁠ Jimmie Rex Wiseman, who nicknamed himself shirtless guy, posts thousands of cacophonous videos of him assaulting out of tune guitars and singing like a cat giving a breech birth.

​⁠ cannot play guitar to save his life, which has been difficult. He’s a retired porn star who made a living producing amateur videos of himself on Pornhub that average 10-20 views each over several years. Hoping to recruit young ladies for his online enterprise, Jimmie found himself tresspassed out of the Temecula Farmer’s Market.

Always one to look on the bright side of life, Jimmie took that negative experience and wrote a song called “i’m the crime” which is an AI - salvage operation of his horrendous voice, out of tune guitar, and broken rhythm. But even AI could only do so much but it couldn’t please online critics who billed the song as “throwback to the 70s vinnie barbarino mentality when low IQ bands performed songs about being burdened by women with hyper-sexed one-track minds. In that song, Jimmie laments, “everywhere I go the ladies have a great time…I can’t help it baby that i am so fine, I can’t help that i’m the crime.”

His b-side wonder called “wild” has jimmie croaking “wild” repeatedly over what seems to be a deaf man’s interpretation Ronnie James Dio’s Holy Diver’s key riff. Of course, “wild” is out of key with Dio and out of key with itself.

A man with great pity and no music ability took notice, and made this video tutorial for Jimmie to apply his cacophonous style into something a little less worse.

Both these clowns deserve their own variety show, and word has it, Jimmie’s Hollywood connections are putting together a package. Let’s hope Mr. Weinstein can make it happen.

For @GYMMIE666 ​⁠ deserves a break today.